Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Parallel Tracks - Cont




I wrote the following sentence in my previous blog post - “Parallel Tracks”

The relationship only complements it

But it got me thinking. What does “Complement” in this context mean? I think this needs some analysis since there are thousands of interpretations in the world about what a boy girl relation is and my point might get lost in them.

Why do people get married? Or a relationship that is intended to end in marriage (The “end” is used literally and metaphorically;-))

The answers seems obvious – Love, sex, children, happiness, larger family systems. But it is not.

Marriage to a large extent has remained a business deal. I am saying "remained" because once upon a time, it was acknowledged to be so. Now the actual thing is masked by terms like holy communion/ love/ marriage made in heaven etc. But in reality it is for social acceptance, social and financial security ( boy seeking dowry.. .Girl looking for a rich/ high earning groom ) etc etc. Have a look at matrimonial sites and see what are things asked for to fall in love ;-)

So here is what I would like a relationship to be:

In a society, where there are plenty of opportunities for anyone (boy or girl) to pursue the study of choice, pursue the career of choice, one has to strive to build a strong identity for oneself. The relationship should be only to cater to those aspects of life which would not be possible by being a loner like physical and emotional companionship, procreation etc etc. I am not saying one should not support a partner financially or be a reason for social acceptance. All I am saying is that should not be the basis of a relationship. This is where I liked the below image


Here two people are CAPABLE on walking on their paths of life. The relationship makes the journey easier and enjoyable. There are no gender stereotypes. Both are equal. The hands are also symmetrical and no one is over powering the other.

But what is the problem if marriage/relationship is something like this:


It seems acceptable for a woman to be under the umbrella of a man.  Women will be continued to be oppressed and our society continues to be a patriarchal one. The feminist in me is strongly against it.


P S: The people I have kept in mind to write the article largely belong to the middle class/upper middle class of Indian urban society who has enough opportunities to make an identity of their own.

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