I
wrote the following sentence in my previous blog post - “Parallel
Tracks”
“The
relationship only complements it”
But
it got me thinking. What does “Complement” in this context mean?
I think this needs some analysis since there are thousands of
interpretations in the world about what a boy girl relation is and my
point might get lost in them.
Why
do people get married? Or a relationship that is intended to end
in marriage (The “end” is used literally and metaphorically;-))
The
answers seems obvious – Love, sex, children, happiness, larger family systems. But it is
not.
Marriage
to a large extent has remained
a business deal. I
am saying "remained" because once upon a time, it was acknowledged
to be so. Now the actual thing
is masked by terms like holy
communion/ love/ marriage made in heaven etc. But
in reality it is for social
acceptance,
social and
financial security ( boy
seeking dowry.. .Girl
looking for a rich/ high earning groom ) etc
etc. Have a look at matrimonial
sites and see what are things asked for to fall in love ;-)
So
here is what I would like a relationship to be:
In
a society, where there are plenty of opportunities for anyone (boy or
girl) to pursue the study of choice, pursue the career of choice, one
has to strive to build a strong identity for oneself. The
relationship should be only to cater to those aspects of life
which would not be possible by being a loner like physical and
emotional companionship, procreation etc etc. I am not saying one
should not support a partner financially or be a reason for social acceptance. All I am saying is that should not be the basis of a
relationship. This is where I liked the below image
Here
two people are CAPABLE on walking on their paths of life. The
relationship makes the journey easier and enjoyable. There are no
gender stereotypes. Both are equal. The hands are also symmetrical
and no one is over powering the other.
But
what is the problem if marriage/relationship is something like this:
It seems acceptable for a woman to be under the umbrella of a man. Women will be continued to be oppressed and our society continues to be a patriarchal one. The feminist in me is strongly against it.
P
S: The people I have kept in mind to write the article largely belong
to the middle class/upper middle class of Indian urban society who
has enough opportunities to make an identity of their own.
