Resilience

A small kiddy is cycling
It was an accidental start
But the kiddy chooses to continue
Just for the fun of it.......

Myriad of experiences
Journey through the knowns and the unknowns
Enthralled by the beauty
Silenced by the mystery

Humpy bumpy ride, steep learning curve
A lot of stress to endure
Lessons learnt but the dent remains
Resilience to restore

Lot of mountains around
Not too Easy, Not too steep
About to give up a steep ascent
Too close to a gentle descent
About to get lost in a serene descent
A sheer ascent begins.......

(PS:Life is like a bicycle. It wont stop until u stop peddling... Keep peddling... )

Passion

My blood flows with high speeds.
And heart beats aloud.
I walk fast.
And I talk with all energy flowing to mouth.
I care for my beloved.
I care and so don't dare to see a drop of tear from them.
I am a passionate guy.
And so I give my complete self.

Life runs slowly in reality.
It runs as destined.
World follows simple rules.
It follows the rules of nature.
People depart.
They do without reasons.
Distance begets closeness.
I fail to realize the least.
I failed to realize all these.
I am so passionate about life too.
I forget to see the other side of the coin.

This was one of the poems I wrote when I was in Infy. It came out of me to console myself when magic moments flew past my imagination. I had to conclude things to frame new moments. To look for new moments.

But these moments turn out to be magic when left alone. Truth is stranger than fiction. Flow with the rules of nature. All moments turn out to be magic and miracles.The last line of the poem says " I forget to see the other side of the coin ". Now I don't want to see how many sides a coin has. But the passion continues.....

Triathlon and Social Service

Myself and sudhir started a funny triathlon race... We were initially going to the swimming pool by bike and run after getting back home... The bike was not fitting the scene as it was time for physical exertion.. Decided to get cycle in instead of the bike.. But only one cycle :-(.. Then we remembered Bangalore Hash's chennai - pondy relay race. There were a van full of runners pacing the runner. When the runner gets tired, he/she gets into the van and another runner continues the race... The idea was flicked... It's 4.5 k to the pool from home.. I run in the morning with sudhir pacing me with the cycle and roles swapped while returning.. And of course swimming in the pool :-)

People were staring at us with surprise throughout... They might be thinking that either we are wierdos ( In which case they are right ) or staring out of jealousy... If they can imbibe cycling and running seeing us, then good for them... We felt we were doing a strange kind of social service though our idea of triathlon was out of complete selfishness:-)

Guptagamini

The river of love which was flowing as guptagamini for past one and half years has emerged back to surface with full flow. It's destination is to reach the ocean, which lies within.

6K

Went out to run 5K... While running thought of stretching to 6K... Ended up running 12K... Approx time - 75 min

What made it possible?
-Spring weather
-Music
-Spoilt Screwed up Chaotic Mindset
-And may be good body condition

Bombay and Chandini Bar

I usually glue myself to television when i go to my place.
This time - A Wednesday, Goal, Kyun Ho Gaya Na, Bombay, Chandini Bar.

Bombay - Killings, Hatred, Bloodshed....Naaa... These things don't seem to move me a bit.

Chandini Bar - Hmmm....

Once i saw a very poor lady on a street with a small baby in her hands... She was begging for food... There was nobody around her... Helplessness was vivid in her eyes. Strongly felt she could be a prostitute(My apologies if she is not)... Got disturbed... May be coz i can never step into the shoes of a woman... But gave a try...

My Cry Never Stops.....
(As seen through the eyes of a prostitute...)

Days begun begging for food,
But there was not much of sulking.
All I could get was handful of pennies,
But was good enough to fill my small belly.
Sad tale started after my first menstrual blood oozed out,
From then on tears have not stopped pouring out from eyes.

Horny eyes started gazing at my body.
Seemed like hawks looking at it's prey.
I became a prey, I became a prey.
How I wish I would be eaten by hawks itself,
Than to be tasted by human hawks night after night.

Now my baby cries for milk for her stomach,
But my stomach is hardly filled to fill my mammary.
I am stripped off from my existence,
I am totally ripped apart.
But the blood of survival still flows within.
It flows to answer my baby's stomach growl.

My First 5K Run

I am recollecting one of my writings during my most dreaded,horrific,killing and also realizing periods of life(My Infy times)...

Walk

I walk,
I walk with my shadow following,
It does not have an identity,
Nor do I,
I walk alone.

I walk,
I walk leaving my footprints behind,
It does not stay eternally,
Nor do I,
I walk alone.

I walk,
I walk covering long distances,
I walk taking time of a life span,
No source, no destination,
Walking from nowhere to nowhere,
I walk alone.

My friend Sudhir called a similar period of his life as “The Cry”. I would be calling it “The Pain". I will be inevitably revealing more about those times as i write more, coz what i am now and also what i continue to be will be deeply influenced but those times. The fact that i am writing this post is surprising me itself coz many a times when i was going to sleep during those days, i thought i would never wake up the next morning.

Anyways change is the only constant... I am feeling a lot better now... Thanks to Dr V S Ramachandran... He thought me a bit about neural networks in brain... But the thoughts and aftereffects still keeps lingering around me...May be I will have to unlearn the learnt.

And the “Walk” has also morphed into “Run”... I always wanted to run long distances but hardly tried doing it... Once during my sabbatical, i tried in one of my favorite places.. Platform of Anekal Road railway station:-)... There was no playground near my place and i usually don't care what people around think... I lost my breath and was panting after running for 200 meters... I was shit scared thinking something has gone wrong with my physique... I was clueless coz during the same times, i could easily cycle for 70 Kms... I thought i could be having a weird prob... 200:70000... I stopped running and started hopping at one place... I could scale up slowly starting with 4min,7,11,15,20,25,30,35,40,45,50,55 and finally an hour... My fear had reduced but was not sure whether i could do the actual running... Anyways couldn't continue after getting back to Infy for obvious reasons. My dreaded days were not over yet.

Sudhir had picked up running as his hobby and was running marathons and ultra marathons... I had thought i could draw some inspiration and tips from him... Now, I am staying in sudhir's place after joining hands with his bro Sudarshan for bringing some change in the field of education... Got some tips about running... Bought new shoes...Started... 1.5K,2K,2.5K,2K,1.5K,2.5K,3.5K,5K... Hurray... It feels awesome to keep stretching ur limits... Want to take this a long way hoping that my body can cont to sustain the huge toll it has taken in the past... It's done a fair job till now.. Let me see... Remembering Salma hayek's statement in her movie Frida... “U can bear more than what u think u can” ...

My last lap is usually last+1 lap... When i am very tired and feeling that i cant run at all, i will listen to Linkin park's “I tried so hard”... I get that josh to run one more... After all “ I tried so hard and got so far. In the end it doesn't even matter...” is so very true.

My Introduction

I dont exist....