Q) Why am I Feminist?
Q) If being a man and a feminist is a rare combination, what about the other way around? (A female who endorses patriarchy)
The culture of patriarchy which both men and women endorses and the varied comforts they derive because of it are blissfully ignorant about the consequences it leads to.
Q) What are the consequences of female foeticide and infanticide?
A) Read literature and watch the movie "Mathrubhumi" . The truth is, it affects both Men, Women and even the larger society.
Q) Why does a male feminist seems odd? Similarly why does it seem odd when a Brahmin opposes caste system?
A) If you look at history, women, dalits, minorities, poor etc etc have fought for their rights. So we are conditioned to look at Women Vs Men, Dalits Vs Upper Caste, Minorities Vs Majority, Poor Vs Rich etc etc. In short, we look at these issues as the disadvantaged people Vs advantaged people. Therefore the oddity comes when a advantaged male oppose patriarchy and a advantaged Brahmin fights caste system. But at the heart of the issue, the debate or fight is of a different nature. It's actually one ideology Vs a opposite ideology. The ideology of patriarchy Vs ideology of equality. The ideology of caste based discrimination Vs idea of universal humanity. Now, all it matters is what ideology one identifies himself/herself with and it has nothing to do with being a male, brahmin, rich, poor or any such labels. Eg : Oscar Schindler, a German who secretly kept many Jews alive. When we change our perspective, the oddity ceases to exist. If the debate was actually about Women Vs Men, then one should ideally expect a nearly 50-50 break up (Not exactly 50-50, thanks to female foeticide and infanticide) in terms of who is on which side. But the reality is different since the debate is "ideology of patriarchy Vs ideology of equality" and I do feel that I am a minority in this context.
P S:
1)Women who make a conscious and deliberate choice to be an "Ideal wife" and be under the umbrella of a man when other choices actually exist cannot be accused of endorsing patriarchy but it's just one's preference is such.
2)Many women who choose to be a part of patriarchal system (For eg: Bearing the cost of an expensive marriage or be a home-maker because adequate education was not given since she is a "girl") cannot be accused of endorsing patriarchy because they did not really "choose" instead they had "No choice"
A) I
have been a feminist for some time now and have not been hesitant to
speak about the same. However, I never asked myself the question “Why
am I a Feminist?”. When that question was asked by a lady to
herself in the documentary “Unlimited
Girls”, I thought it's
high time I ask the same to myself, more so because being a man and a
feminist is a rare combination though I feel nothing odd about it.
To be born as a male has it's own perils. Keeping those things aside, I have to admit that I have enjoyed certain types of freedom that have come from being born a male. Though I have many times wondered what it means to be born a female, I suppose I would not want to chance it in this patriarchal society at least. I have always felt a certain sense of difficulty when I imagined myself in the shoes of a woman. Though many people highlight the difficulty a woman undergoes during periods and pregnancy, that has affected me the least. It's all the pressures that society puts on a female for being born as a female that disturbs me. And my feminism is a consequence of being able to feel that. In short, the answer to "Why am I a feminist?" is empathy.
To be born as a male has it's own perils. Keeping those things aside, I have to admit that I have enjoyed certain types of freedom that have come from being born a male. Though I have many times wondered what it means to be born a female, I suppose I would not want to chance it in this patriarchal society at least. I have always felt a certain sense of difficulty when I imagined myself in the shoes of a woman. Though many people highlight the difficulty a woman undergoes during periods and pregnancy, that has affected me the least. It's all the pressures that society puts on a female for being born as a female that disturbs me. And my feminism is a consequence of being able to feel that. In short, the answer to "Why am I a feminist?" is empathy.
Q) If being a man and a feminist is a rare combination, what about the other way around? (A female who endorses patriarchy)
A) Unlike the former, the latter is not a rarity in my opinion. Many
men try to justify the male superiority in our society. Though there
is some truth to some of the points put forth by such men, it is NO
way a justification for any patriarchy.
If at all, they are just
some unfortunate truths. The points being
-
If women are viewed as objects of pleasure then men are viewed as
money earning machines,
providers and care takers. The institution of arranged marriage is
the best example for this.
-
A woman's hardships in
giving birth and raising children is equated to a man's hardships in
trying to make ends meet,
and working in hostile environments.
There
are many more points but
there is no need to expand as they all fall into similar categories
as mentioned above
Here
comes the most important aspect. It's not always men who subscribe to
patriarchy, unfortunately many
women do too. The above mentioned points are not only endorsed by men
but by women too as they
rationalize their submissiveness and their need for a male protector
or provider. Many women fear that they would intimidate a man if they are professionally very successful and some even choose to limit their education and career. I can't help but recollect an incident where a well to do IIM-B graduate woman who was searching for a groom on matrimonial website had a strict filter criteria. The groom had to be IIM-A graduate and nothing less.
In fact, all the families who get their daughters married by spending huge sums of money all by themselves since they consider it is their duty to spend (which does not apply for the groom's family) is indirectly responsible for female foeticide and female infanticide because new couples think twice before having a girl child imagining the cost involved in marriage. In my opinion, if only the bride's family bears the cost of an expensive marriage, it is indirect Dowry.
In fact, all the families who get their daughters married by spending huge sums of money all by themselves since they consider it is their duty to spend (which does not apply for the groom's family) is indirectly responsible for female foeticide and female infanticide because new couples think twice before having a girl child imagining the cost involved in marriage. In my opinion, if only the bride's family bears the cost of an expensive marriage, it is indirect Dowry.
The culture of patriarchy which both men and women endorses and the varied comforts they derive because of it are blissfully ignorant about the consequences it leads to.
A) Read literature and watch the movie "Mathrubhumi" . The truth is, it affects both Men, Women and even the larger society.
Q) Why does a male feminist seems odd? Similarly why does it seem odd when a Brahmin opposes caste system?
A) If you look at history, women, dalits, minorities, poor etc etc have fought for their rights. So we are conditioned to look at Women Vs Men, Dalits Vs Upper Caste, Minorities Vs Majority, Poor Vs Rich etc etc. In short, we look at these issues as the disadvantaged people Vs advantaged people. Therefore the oddity comes when a advantaged male oppose patriarchy and a advantaged Brahmin fights caste system. But at the heart of the issue, the debate or fight is of a different nature. It's actually one ideology Vs a opposite ideology. The ideology of patriarchy Vs ideology of equality. The ideology of caste based discrimination Vs idea of universal humanity. Now, all it matters is what ideology one identifies himself/herself with and it has nothing to do with being a male, brahmin, rich, poor or any such labels. Eg : Oscar Schindler, a German who secretly kept many Jews alive. When we change our perspective, the oddity ceases to exist. If the debate was actually about Women Vs Men, then one should ideally expect a nearly 50-50 break up (Not exactly 50-50, thanks to female foeticide and infanticide) in terms of who is on which side. But the reality is different since the debate is "ideology of patriarchy Vs ideology of equality" and I do feel that I am a minority in this context.
P S:
1)Women who make a conscious and deliberate choice to be an "Ideal wife" and be under the umbrella of a man when other choices actually exist cannot be accused of endorsing patriarchy but it's just one's preference is such.
2)Many women who choose to be a part of patriarchal system (For eg: Bearing the cost of an expensive marriage or be a home-maker because adequate education was not given since she is a "girl") cannot be accused of endorsing patriarchy because they did not really "choose" instead they had "No choice"
